How well do you manage paradox in your goals?
How often do you feel pressed to accomplish more than time allows? Does senior management expect you to accomplish major goals (e.g., meet a project deadline) and then drop other “little” tasks on you (e.g., provide information for a report or serve on a committee)? Does your work ever seem to conflict with what you want to get done at home, like it did for the central character in the great foreign film, Twilight Samurai (2002)? This gentle warrior and single parent loved raising his two daughters; yet he also had to work his day job at the “warehouse,” labor in his garden, and perform his samurai duties whenever the Shogun called. Sound familiar?
University of Houston Professor Steven Brown and his team call this goal conflict – “the degree to which individuals feel that their multiple goals are incompatible.” They studied the effect of goal conflict on the performance in 153 employees, and found that conflicting goals decrease employee commitment, self-efficacy, and overall performance. (1)
So, what can you do? How can you and your team manage the goal conflict in today’s hectic and complex work and home environment? Here are a few ideas:
Say Yes to Say No. Before we can decide how to juggle, we need to decide what to juggle. The Samurai turned down repeated requests by colleagues to join them for a drink after work. He knew he didn’t have time for everything, so he focused on the most important things. Do you focus on the fundamental few or get caught up in the meaningless many? A few weeks ago, as I was teaching an organization how to use project management tools to increase productivity, a manager asked how to manage her boss who often dumped last-minute projects on her. I recommended that she first find out what was most important to him, and then align her priorities with his. Whenever he gave her last-minute projects, I suggested she show him her list of priorities and ask him where he would place the task if he were in her position. Saying yes to his priorities will lead her to saying no his dumping.
When you say yes to your (and your manager’s) most important goals, goal conflict decreases because, like the Twilight Samurai, you find it is easier to say no to what’s not important. What are your priorities? What are they based on? Does a review of your calendar show congruence between what you say is important and where you time goes? Show me a man’s calendar I’ll show you what’s REALLY important to him.
Believe and Achieve. A strong belief that we can take the steps to reach our goals is a strong predictor of goal achievement. This is the belief, called self-efficacy. Professor Brown found that people who had higher self-efficacy spent more time planning how to deal with goal conflict and more effort overcoming obstacles than their low self-efficacy counterparts. The stronger the believing the higher the achieving.
Use the power of modeling to increase self-efficacy. Modeling directs us to learn from those who are achieving the goals we are striving to achieve. The Twilight Samurai studied with a master in short-sword fighting. He drew on this skill to swiftly deal with issues the emperor dumped on him… SO that he could get back to his primary goal of raising his girls.
If you are struggling with goal conflict, find a coworker who is successfully dealing with the same issue. Ask if you can learn from them by watching and discussing their approach. Then adapt what they do to fit you. If you can’t find role model nearby, perhaps a book, class, or audio-program would suffice. I often ask coaches in my professional associations or search the scientific literature to discover what works. The essence of science is prediction. From whom can you learn? Where can you find accurate information to strengthen the belief you can achieve your primary goal?
Working Hard Leads to Feeling Good. Professor Brown found that positive emotions resulted not only from achieving a major goal, but also from merely engaging in goal-directed behaviors. When participants in his study worked hard to perform well, they felt better about themselves whether or not they reached their goal. Working hard leads to feeling good independent of the outcome. The Twilight Samurai put his entire being into all his activities regardless of what they were.
This research and the samurai teaching us to be fully present in all we do. To become more engaged in the task at hand, use all your senses as you focus on achieving your goals. Ironically, you may feel better about managing your conflicting goals by focusing on what is right in front of you. The gift of life is the present. What do you hear, feel, smell, and see as you work your way throughout your day?
Next time you feel overwhelmed by work, underappreciated by senior management, or just plain tuckered out… say yes to what’s most important, believe you can achieve, and focus on what is in front of you. At the end of the day, how surprised will you be that you feel good about who you are because, like the Twilight Samurai, you have lived this day well?
Keep eXpanding your leadership,
Dave
1. Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies; June 22, 2002.
P.S. Dave Jensen and his team transform proven leadership tools into your success stories. Dave is an executive coach and an engaging speaker at conferences, meetings, and retreats. He can be reached in Los Angeles, CA at (310) 397-6686. Click here for more info about the research-based, online 360-leadership assessment (XLM): http://xlmassessment.com/ )
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