“I thought there were supposed to be thousands of butterflies?” Marek’s wrinkled brow confirmed his disappointment. His two brothers and sister joined a chorus of, “I can’t believe we drove six hours to see this!”
The four adults acknowledged the relatively few butterflies, yet emphasized that the absolute numbers were still quite staggering. “After all, there are hundreds of monarch butterflies.”
Our optimistic words were lost on deaf as my friend’s four children raced towards the newly discovered sand dunes on the beach.
Leaders Living the Happiness Equation
When we caught up to them, we discovered the kids rolling down a mountain of sand, playing in the tidepool, and screaming with delight. That’s when I realized that the children were living “The Leading Happiness Equation.”
Happiness = Experience – Expectations
The above equation predicts that the leaders’ level of happiness with any situation is equal to their perception of that experience minus our expectations prior to the experience. For example, think about the last time you were disappointed after a project was delivered to you. On a scale of 1 to 10, what score would you assign your expectation prior to delivery? (Go ahead; pick a high number if you had high expectations. Let’s use 8 for illustrative purposes because in our story, the children were fired-up about seeing thousands of butterflies.) Next, on a scale of 1 to 10, what score would you assign to the experience immediately after you experienced the project? (Pick a low number if you had a lousy experience. Let’s use 2, which is how the kids were feeling when the saw “only” a few hundred butterflies.). If you do the math (2 – 8), you have a “happiness score” (the -6 in our example reveals how unhappy the kids were initially). If the number is positive, you’re relatively happy. If it’s negative, so are you… about that experience.
How to Apply YOUR Leading Happiness Equation
I. Get fired up with high expectations prior to any experience. Rosenthal’s review of 345 research studies concluded that positive expectations lead to positive experiences (1).
II. Let go of your expectations like a balloon on a windy day as you start having the experience. That’s what the kids did. Their expectations dropped to zero when they chose to be in the moment and experience the joy of the sand dunes.
III. Ask expansive questions to perceive the experience in a positive light, such as: What might be good about this? What am I learning here? Subconsciously, the kids were asking, Where can we have fun now?
IV. Free yourself of resentment by releasing your attachment to unfulfilled expectations.
V. Embrace both a “Western” thinking tradition (expect to achieve goals) and Eastern tradition (experience the joy of now) by applying the equation.
VI. Access your free will and choose to use this equation to lead a more fulfilling life.
So, how might you (or do you) use this leadership equation to lead your team?
- 1. Rosenthal R and Rubin D: Interpersonal Expectancy Effects: The First 345 Studies. The Behavioral and Brain Sciences 3: 377-415, 1978.
Keep eXpanding,
Dave
P.S. Dave Jensen and his team transform proven leadership tools into your success stories. Dave is an executive coach and an engaging speaker at conferences, meetings, and retreats. He can be reached in Los Angeles, CA at (310) 397-6686 or dj@davejensenonleadership.com. Click here to learn about the research-based, 360 leadership assessment (XLM): http://xlmassessment.com/
P.S.S. You are welcome to republish these leadership articles, forward them to your contacts, or use my blog in your corporate newsletter or websites. Simply include my contact info at the bottom.
Dave Jensen, MS
http://davejensenonleadership.com/
Los Angeles, CA
(310) 397-6686
