Our Attention+Beliefs=Filters
My friend Mike and I were biking along a river trail last month when construction forced us to detour onto the main streets. As we began the detour, a powerful aroma of cinnamon sticky buns almost blew me off my bike.
“Do you smell that?” I asked Mike.
“So, then the physician tells me…” My over-focused friend continued telling the story he had started moments earlier, oblivious to the smell and my question.
As we passed the same spot an hour later, the cinnamon aroma hit us again, and Mike yelled, “Wow, do you smell that?”
“Of course, didn’t you smell it when we went by an hour ago?”
“No.”
“I even asked you about it, but you were so into your story and negotiating our detour, you didn’t smell it or hear me.” We laughed.
How often does that happen to you? How frequently do you become so focused on your agenda or self that you fail to notice what’s happening in you and around you?
Attention is the first type of filter that can distort reality. Our attention filter defines what we see in our environment. Just like Mike’s focus on his story filtered his ability to smell the cinnamon, our filters may screen us from seeing the team member’s need for a pat on the back, a bosses desire for strategic thinking, or a friend’s hunger for a hug…
Beliefs are the second type of filter. Belief filters interpret what happens around us. These filters evolve though the years, and are influenced by our upbringing, education, associations, experiences, the quality of information we pay attention to…
The power of belief filters struck me a few years ago during a conversation with a couple who had recently emigrated from Israel. They were engaging, intelligent, and told wonderful stories about family life in Israel. Toward the end of our conversation, they told me about their uncle, who resided in an Israel neighborhood where Jews and Palestinians lived near each other. One day, a peace-loving Palestinian neighbor sustained substantial collateral damage during an armed skirmish between the Israelis and Palestinians. Their neighbor escaped to safety. The day after this accident, their uncle went to the Palestinian’s home to pillage his belongings.
I was in shock as I listened to this bright couple tell me how happy they were that their uncle was able to steal home furnishings from an innocent Palestinian.
Warring factions in the Middle East perceive their world with filters clogged by years of hate, fear, and death. Peace in the Middle East may never happen until both sides change belief filters. Peace will come when they realize that their piece is only a piece of the puzzle – their vision is only their version based on their filters.
How many difficulties at home and work would be more easily resolved if we recognized our distorted perceptions? When I think about issues, am “I” really doing the thinking or are my filters thinking for me? Maybe if I assume I have a few biased filters I would be more open to others’ opinions and options. Perhaps there are two steps of effectively dealing with filters:
1. Recognize I have them.
2. Ask people with different a different view for their perspective.
Inspect your filters. Do they need changing? Do you think an unexamined filter is worth having?
Time to go… to change my filters.
Keep eXpanding your leadership,
Dave
P.S. Dave Jensen and his team transform proven leadership tools into your success stories. Dave is an executive coach and an engaging speaker at conferences, meetings, and retreats. He can be reached in Los Angeles, CA at (310) 397-6686. Click here for more info about the research-based, online 360-leadership assessment (XLM): http://xlmassessment.com/ )
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