Last week a leader commented on how surprised he was that so many of his recently retired colleagues were traveling so much. “Maybe they are confusing pleasure for happiness,” I 
replied.
“What is the difference between pleasure and happiness?”
I responded by sharing my belief that while pleasure is a feeling of enjoyment, happiness is more of a state of contentment. Pleasure is usually what the individual wants, while happiness involves managing the me/we paradox; pleasure seeking often ends with wanting more, pursuing happiness ends with fulfillment. Pleasure is cotton candy, whereas happiness is a buffet with friends. (1)
Pleasure and happiness both have their place. The trick is not to confuse them. The great paradox is that the pursuit of happiness will often bring pleasure, but seeking pleasure seldom brings happiness.
“Okay Dave, how can leaders increase happiness for themselves and their teams?”
I offered this suggestion. “Brainstorm (via journaling, morning pages, conversations…) answers to questions like the following”:
- Where do you make your greatest contributions?
- What activities bring you fulfillment?
- Which of your priorities do you find most satisfying?
- Where would you like to keep growing/learning?
- How can you increase your optimism and supportive relationships?
- What patterns or connections emerge from reviewing your answers?
A clear pattern emerged for me as I have answered these questions (many times) over the years. I discovered that I’m happiest when I combine my expertise as a researcher, executive, and educator/coach to help others grow. The answers to these questions lead me to writing my latest book, The Executive’s Paradox.
Retirement is not on my radar screen yet. Nevertheless, when I do decide to decrease my work, I too will travel more. I believe that answering these questions will help me do it in a way that brings both pleasure and happiness. How might the questions help you and your team (at work and home)?
Keep stretching,
Dave
PS “My first wish … is to see the whole world in peace, and the inhabitants of it as one band of brothers, striving who should contribute most to the happiness of mankind.”
George Washington
- David Myers, Happier Ever After, Science & Spirit, March/April (2006).
Dave Jensen helps leaders manage ambiguity, gain buy-in to any change, improve decision-making, and achieve difficult goals in today’s complex, competitive, and conflicting environment. For a FREE Chapter or to purchase his newly released groundbreaking book that helps executives and managers develop business-boosting skills, The Executive’s Paradox – How to Stretch When You’re Pulled by Opposing Demands, visit http://davejensenonleadership.com/
