Please Push Your Pause Button

“I called him into my office, delivered the message, now he knows what I expect.”

“So, your intention was to deliver a message?”, was my quick retort to this leader.

“Absolutely!” She barked back.

“Congratulations, then you accomplished your mission. But I think you were on the wrong mission. Rather than delivering your message, wasn’t your real goal a change in your direct report’s behavior?”

After a long pause, she sighed, “You’re right. When am I ever going to get this right?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Many leaders forget that the meaning of any communication is what happens after the communication. That’s why it’s critical to remind yourself to pause and consider your intention before every conversation, communication, and interaction. You just need to remind yourself to hit the pause button.”

How often do you fail to pause before your interactions, thereby failing to achieve your true desired outcome? If you’re like me (and I know I am), it happens way too often. We become so caught up in the moment (rational leadership style) that we don’t fully consider the big picture or long-term consequences (visionary leadership style). We allow what’s now to obliterate what’s next. When does this happen to you? What are the ramifications?

If I could get most leaders to take only one action to grow their leadership effectiveness the most, it would be to push your pause button.

After you take the “pause that refreshes,” place your attention on your intention. Answer this question; what do I really want to happen after this interaction? Your answer will inform what you need to do during the interaction.

One of the best ways to master the pause is to make pushing your pause button a habit. My favorite approach to creating ANY new habit is to link what I do routinely (i.e., old habit) with what I want to do (new tool). Think of it like this: New Habit = Old Habit + New Tool

For example, let’s say that you wanted to create the new habit of “pushing your pause button during meetings.” If you had the existing habit of taking notes during meetings, you could easily link this note-taking habit to your new tool by writing the word ‘pause’ at the top of your notepad. Every time you glanced down at your notepad, it would remind you to pause. Very simple, extremely effective.

Listed below are six more ways to link old habits with new tools, such as pushing your pause button.

  A. Index cards. Write the word ‘pause’ on a 3×5-index card. Place the card in your pocket. Affirm your ‘pause’ approach whenever put your hand in your pocket.

  B. Team member. Whom can you count on to regularly encourage and remind you to take daily action?

  C. Mirror. Slightly tilt the rearview mirror in your car. Every time you notice that the mirror is askew, tell yourself aloud how you will pause today.

  D. Program your calendar. Schedule a ‘pause’ meeting in your scheduling software. Write the word ‘pause’ at different times throughout the day.

  E. Post-it-notes. Write ‘pause’ on a post-it-note. Place the note on your phone, computer, or something you see frequently as a reminder.

  F. Keep the change. Put seven coins in your right pocket of your slacks. Every time you put your hand in your right pocket, move one coin from the right pocket to the left pocket to remind yourself to practice your new ‘pause’. Compounding your interest in small change over time makes a HUGE difference.

Remember, the buttons are yours. If you let others push your buttons, the others control you. Choose to refuse to play their tune. Apply these ideas to remind yourself to pause, and then play your own music throughout your day.

Hey, wait minute; is that The Sound of Music I hear?

Dave Jensen helps leaders manage ambiguity, gain buy-in to any change, improve decision-making, and achieve difficult goals in today’s complex, competitive, and conflicting environment. For a FREE Chapter of his forthcoming book, The Executive’s Paradox – How to Stretch When You’re Pulled by Opposing Demands, or to receive his highly researched, yet practical leadership tips once a month, sign up for his free eZine (Dave’s Raves), visit http://davejensenonleadership.com/