I heard the whining engine and screeching tires a split second before the white Miata flew around the curve. I jumped off my bike and watched as the petrified driver wrestled with the wheel. But the next curve came too fast. The driver and sports car disappeared over the edge. I hopped on my bike and rolled downhill 10 yards, to the spot where the tires’ last clawed the road. Praying for a miracle, I peered over the edge… and saw one.
Instead of plunging 300 feet down the ravine, this guy had landed against several thick bushes 30 feet down. The car was banged up, but upright, and the driver was crawling up the embankment towards me.
As he reached the road, he straightened up and assured me he was fine (there were no visible bruises and he had been wearing his seatbelt). He asked to use my cell phone to call for a tow truck, and then encouraged me, several times, to continue my bike ride up the steep mountain road. I did. That’s when I decided to count the curves on the mountain and started to think about those curves as feedback.
Webster’s Dictionary defines feedback as “the return to the point of origin of evaluative or corrective information.” Feedback is everywhere. A market-based economy works because consumers give continuous feedback to producers. Feedback is also how we survive. The human body incorporates thousands of feedback mechanisms that keep us alive. And failure to pay attention to feedback is what almost killed the driver on that mountain.
You see, I counted 37 curves from the spot where he went over the edge to the top of that mountain. This means he had 37 opportunities to become aware of, learn from, and adjust to the feedback the mountain and his car were giving him as he raced down. He was getting feedback about the road conditions, his car, his ability to negotiate hairpin curves… You get the point. He was, to paraphrase T.S. Eliot, getting the experience but missing the meaning. How about you?
Are you having experiences, but missing the meaning? Here’s a clue… I know I’m NOT learning my lesson when the universe keeps sending me (i.e., I keep creating) the same experience over and over again. It’s always Groundhog Day for leaders who don’t learn from their experience. Being open to internal and external feedback and choosing to learn from it is what makes an experience meaningful.
Since leaders receive feedback from customers, team members, management, family and friends every day, I thought you might like a few ideas to help you use feedback to stay on track.
1. Be open to most things, attached to few
If the guy on the mountain had been open to what the hairpin turns were teaching him, he might not have plunged off the road. Do you ever find yourself going so fast, trying to push too hard or rush a conversation, that you miss critical feedback? It happens to me way too often. I become so attached to my way of looking at things that I miss the “corrective information” someone or something is telling me.
2. Write for insight
In her book The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron describes a powerful technique called Morning Pages. She says that if you really want to discover the meaning of something, write three pages by hand, non-stop, and fast, in the morning. Anything that comes to mind, write it down, without editing. Don’t think, don’t hesitate, and don’t stop. The key is to keep your hand moving no matter what spills out onto the pages. Morning Pages are NOT meant to be prose, poetry, or journaling. You shouldn’t show them to or share them with anyone. You will be amazed at what this “internal feedback” teaches you. You might also be surprised at how these pages help you make meaning out of what happens to you. Think of the Morning Pages as a method of listening to who is really on the inside and what is really going on. Life is lived, and experience is given meaning, from the inside out.
3. Choose to ask expansive questions
Do you ever get down on yourself or blame circumstances when life throws you a curve (like a hairpin one on a mountain)? Just the other day, I was lamenting that a conversation with a colleague did not go as planned. I didn’t handle it well. It took me a while to remember that when the universe deals us a setback… There is no failure, only feedback. It’s only failure if you don’t learn anything. So, whenever you’re hit by unexpected or unwelcome events, choose to ask expansive questions like:
- What could I learn from this?
- Will this be critical five years from today?
- How can I view this differently?
- How might I use this to serve others in the future?
We all receive tons of feedback as we speed through our day. If we choose to pay closer attention to this “corrective information,” we might make more meaning out of what happens to us. Maybe feedback is really feed forward. How do you use it?
Keep eXpanding your leadership,
Dave
P.S. Dave Jensen and his team transform proven leadership tools into your success stories. Dave is an executive coach and an engaging speaker at conferences, meetings, and retreats. He can be reached in Los Angeles, CA at (310) 397-6686. Click here for more info about the research-based, online 360-leadership assessment (XLM): http://xlmassessment.com/ )
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